Are wide mouth cans not big enough for you? Do you find yourself ordering your own personal beer by the pitcher? Is a beer bong just not fast enough? It sounds like you need the Bierstick. From the website:
“Drink up to 24 ounces in less than two seconds. The Bierstick is crafted from high-quality FDA approved materials. Its durable, compact design makes it very discreet — small enough to fit in a backpack. The friction-fit mouthpiece allows for easy filling and cleaning, leaving zero mess. If you think you can drink, you haven’t seen anything yet.”
Remove mouthpiece and fill bierstick with beer, or other beverage.
Put mouthpiece back on and push air out of tube.
While holding mouthpiece firmly with one hand, place end-cap against wall or other stationary surface and press to drink when ready.