Friday Beer Fun

Beer Troubleshooting Guide (Lighthearted version)

September 4, 2015 Author: Scott

Comments Off

In light of the holiday weekend coming up in the US, I give you the guide to troubleshooting your drinking problems.

BEER TROUBLESHOOTING GUIDE
SYMPTOM	CAUSE	CORRECTIVE ACTION
Feet cold and wet	Glass Being held at incorrect angle.	Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling
Feet warm and wet	Improper Bladder Control	Stand next to nearest dog, complain about lack of house training
Beer unusually pale and tasteless	a. Glass empty. b. You’re holding a Coors Lite	Get someone to buy you another beer
Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights	You have fallen over backward.	Have yourself lashed to bar
Mouth contains cigarette butts, back of head covered with ashes	You have fallen forward	See above
Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet	a. Mouth not open b. Glass applied to wrong part of face	Retire to restroom, practice in mirror
Floor Blurred	You are looking through bottom of empty glass	Get someone to buy you another beer
Floor moving	You are being carried out	Find out if you are being taken to another bar
Room seems unusually dark	Bar has closed	Confirm home address with bartender. If staff is gone, grab a six-pack to go and hit the nearest fire escape door. Run
Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures	Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations	Cover mouth, open window, stick head outside
Everyone looks up to you and smiles	You are dancing on the table	Fall on someone cushy-looking
Beer is crystal-clear	It’s water! Somebody is trying to sober you up	Punch him
People are standing around urinals, talking or putting on makeup	You’re in the ladies’ room	Do not use urinal! Excuse yourself, exit and try the next door down the hall. Try to get phone numbers (optional)
Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear	You have been in a fight	Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them
Don’t recognize anyone, don’t recognize the room you’re in	You’ve wandered into the wrong party	See if they have free beer
Your bedroom is painted gray, has a concrete floor and an interesting steel door. Toilet may be conveniently located next to your bunk	a. You’re in jail b. You’re in the navy	Sleep it off, you can always get out tomorrow. Don’t talk to your new roommate, and under no circumstances sleep on your stomach !
You are dancing to a Village People song, and your partner is wearing leather chaps	You’re in a gay bar	Keeping your back to the wall, edge toward nearest exit. Do not accept offers for backrubs
Your singing sounds distorted	The beer is too weak	Have more beer until your voice improves
Don’t remember the words to the song	Beer is just right	Play air guitar

[Infographic] How Beer Saved the World

October 19, 2012 Author: Scott
Comments Off

Beer, the fuel that has kept mankind running for thousands of years, and now you’ll know why.
Friday Beer Fun – Spring is Here Edition

May 25, 2012 Author: Scott
2 Comments
With Spring time here in full swing and Summer right around the corner it’s time to take a look at some beer related items that will help you get through the outdoor time of year.
1. First on the list is a Beer holster, for the hands free action you’ll need.
  http://gifts.personalcreations.com/productdetail.aspx?cobrand=PCR&pid=30029868
2. Perhaps you’ll be going to some festivals and want your own stylish mug to take along.
  http://www.macgowans.com/products.html
3. If you want a stein that is a little more geeky, how about a portal stein?
  http://www.gearfuse.com/get-your-own-portal-beer-stein/
4. If you’re looking to sneak beer into an event, how about a fake beer belly.
  http://www.baronbob.com/beerbelly.htm
5. Of course, women may want to sneak in some beer of their own.
  http://www.baronbob.com/winerack-winegaggift.htm
6. Having an outdoor party and want to roll out your latest homebrew? (Holds 2 corny kegs and a 5lb CO2 bottle)
  http://www.amazon.com/Nostalgia-KRS-2100-Refrigerated-Beverage-Dispenser/dp/B000HJVYDQ/ref=reg_hu-rd_add_1_dp
7. With all this beer being opened, you wouldn’t want to litter, so make sure to catch all the bottle caps.
  http://www.likecool.com/Beer_cap_catcher–Accessories–Home.html
8. With all that you have going on, you wouldn’t want to lose track of time, so you’d better get yourself a good clock.
  http://www.palletart.com/clock.html
9. If you’re into entertaining, why not bring your music with you in these perfectly tuned beer bottles.
  http://2d3d5d.com/41817/97878/work/tuned-pale-ale
10. And lastly, if you’ve been looking for an impressive way to open a beer, why not use a chainsaw.
  http://youtu.be/KZ-slvv_ZT4
Friday Beer Fun – Bottle Opener Edition

March 30, 2012 Author: Scott
Comments Off
We all have our favorite bottle opener to use. Maybe it’s easy to open bottles with it, or maybe it has nostalgic or sentimental value. But even with as many bottle openers as we may have laying around the house, there always room for one more, especially if it’s unique or just plain cool. So here are a few bottle openers that may pique your interest.
1. How about a custom “butterfly” beer opener. The toy that everyone will want to play with once they see it. (may cause stories of rebellious childhood activities to be told)
  http://www.liverbashers.com/?p=3740
2. Maybe you were more the switch blade type. (Again, your friends will want to play with this one, too)
  http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/tools/ea96/
3. Seeing we’re talking about weapon style openers, how about a set of brass knuckles or some other aggressive looking openers? (Not to be used after too much drinking)
  http://bustabottlecap.myshopify.com/
4. Or maybe a bottle opener that tracks how many of your beers your friends are drinking. (Guaranteed to elicit comments when certain numbers are reached)
  http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B000KY5E98
5. If you’re working around the grill, an all in one grill tool would be nice. This features 7 unique tools: spatula, tongs, fork, serrated edge, bottle opener, cork screw, & a slot to place lighter (As with the butterfly opener, your friends will want to play with this one, too)
  http://www.prezzybox.com/asado-flameboy-bbq-multitool.aspx
6. Maybe you prefer to wear your bottle opener so you know you’re never without one. (With this ring i thee wed, oh grand and glorious beer)
  http://www.thisnext.com/item/39F81453/Ring-Bottle-Opener
7. You could also wear your bottle open on your feet, although I’m not a fan of opening my bottle with the bottom of my shoe. Who knows what I may have stepped in. (Did someone step in dog poop?)
  http://www.amazon.com/Reef-Mens-Fanning-Flip-Flop/dp/B001PTHDRS
8. Not wearable, but almost always less than an arms length away, a bottle opener on your phone case. (This really seems like the most convenient of the lot)
  http://www.beaheadcase.com/
9. For the horror fan, how about some vampire teeth. (You’re allowed to hit anyone who says, “I want to suck your beer”)
  http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/kitchen/ea95/
10. And lastly, for your inner-geek, some SciFi love. (You may be teased for using these in public)
  http://www.thinkgeek.com/caffeine/bd88/
  http://www.popcultcha.com.au/star-wars-millenium-falcon-bottle-opener-p-8385.html
Did I miss any that you think should have been on the list? Do you have a favorite bottle opener? Feel free to tell us about it in the comments.
Friday Beer Fun – DIY Edition

March 2, 2012 Author: Scott
Comments Off
With Spring coming soon it’s time to start your list of Spring projects to do. Here are a few DIY beer related items that you might want to consider in the coming months.
1. The first thing you’ll need is a beer mug, so why not make your own.
  http://www.instructables.com/id/wooden-beer-mug/
2. You’ll need someplace to drink that beer, so why not build yourself a bar.
  http://www.brandozines.com/bar/
3. You’ll need some beer to go with the mug and bar, so why not brew your own.
  http://www.homebrewing.com/how-to-homebrew-all-grain.php
4. When the beer is done you’ll need a place to store it, so it’s time to build a kegerator.
  http://www.wikihow.com/Build-a-Homebrew-Kegerator
5. Of course, maybe you’re looking for a non-conventional beer dispensing method, like a fire extinguisher.
  http://benkrasnow.blogspot.com/2009/03/thirst-extinguisher.html
6. If you’re into bottling instead, you’ll need to make some labels.
  http://labeley.com/
7. Or maybe you want more than just a label, how about a whole 4-6 pack setup?
  http://www.myownlabels.com/boxes-and-bags/PBC/
8. If you’re like me, you have kids around a lot, so you should have some beer for them, too.
  http://bakemeaway.wordpress.com/2011/07/11/butterbeer-universal-style/
9. You could also have fun treats for the adults.
  http://www.thekitchn.com/how-to-make-beer-popsicles-at-124457
10. And lastly, while everyone is hanging out enjoying everything you’ve made they will surely be using your Wi-Fi. Time to build a Wi-Fi booster.
  http://www.dalimunthe.com/2011/08/how-to-make-wi-fi-booster-using-only.html
Friday Beer Fun – Holiday Gift Edition

December 16, 2011 Author: Scott
Comments Off
With the holiday shopping in a mad furry, I thought it would be good to post a few beer related items you might want to add to your list or buy for that special someone in your life.
1. Tell your significant other you think they’re dirty
  http://store.brooklynbrewery.com/beer-soap
2. Sweeten the look of your home bar
  http://www.alan-courtenay.co.uk/index.html
3. A bracelet for your beer
  http://fredandfriends.com/products/view/beer-bands-drink-markers
4. Camouflage your can when you’re in public
  http://www.prankplace.com/shop/Product/Drinking-Stuff/Canouflage-Beer-Can-Wraps-348.aspx
5. Never be forced to drink from the can or bottle again
  http://www.neatoshop.com/product/Port-A-Pint-Beer-Glass
6. Keep cousin Ray Ray out of your freshly opened bottle of Antarctic Nail Ale
  http://www.homewetbar.com/combination-bottle-lock-p-2259.html
7. The next best thing to having a St. Bernard for a dog
  http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003VUK2B8/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=blesthisstuf-20&linkCode=as2&camp=217145&creative=399349&creativeASIN=B003VUK2B8
8. Tell your friends you drank a palette of beer
  http://www.designboom.com/weblog/cat/8/view/13305/designboom-shop-new-product-palette-coasters.html
9. For the Simpsons fan in all of us
  http://www.duffbeer.co.uk/
10. And lastly, for the person who enjoys more than one type of recreational intoxication
  http://www.cafepress.com/indybeers.602897387
Friday Beer Fun

November 18, 2011 Author: Scott
1 Comment
Just for fun I have put together a group of old and new Friday fun articles I’ve found over the past week for your Friday pleasure. I may turn this into a regular column if everyone tends to like it.
1. For the party animal in you, a collection of custom beer pong tables:
  http://www.interbent.com/customized-beer-pong-tables/
2. 10 uses for beer that don’t include drinking it:
  http://listverse.com/2008/12/07/top-10-unusual-uses-for-beer/
3. 10 great dishes made with beer:
  http://www.yummly.com/blog/2011/08/10-great-dishes-made-better-with-beer/
4. Are you a beer lover, or a beer snob?
  http://www.primermagazine.com/2009/live/beer-lover-beer-snob
5. Beer infographic with lots of useless data you’ll only use when drinking beer:
  http://www.patmoorefoundation.com/10-things-know-about-beer
6. More useless beer information, this time in the form of records:
  http://madconomist.com/5-coolest-beer-records
7. A beer gauge chart to know if your bartender is cheating you:
  http://thebeergauge.com/
8. Craft Beer cigars for combing two of your favorite pleasures:
  http://www.tedscigars.com/hopz-craft-beer-cigars/
9. For that person in your life that already has every type of beer glass:
  http://fredandfriends.com/products/view/hopside-down-beer-glass
10. And lastly, a beer motivational poster for the easily amused:
  http://www.demotivationalposters.org/image/demotivational-poster/0906/beer-fart-demotivational-poster-1245366730.jpg